No Stranger to a Joystick
by Spasgo
Summary: Human Geek AU./ At twenty six, Ivan would have considered a night spent in his favorite chat-room, maybe with a little cyber sex, as a good Saturday night. That is, until he met Alfred.


Warnings: Extremely awkward socially inept Ivan, seriously. It's almost embarrassing how awkward he is. And very unsexy smut, but that's the point. It's supposed to be funny.

Sorry that it's so damn long!

Enjoy!

It couldn't have been more than eight o'clock on Saturday night. Ivan, of course, was at home, his nimble hands working the keyboard like a fine masseuse. His mother was gone, out to a meeting or some foolish thing that Ivan never paid much attention to. And his sister, Katyusha was, of course, out on a date, like a normal functioning human being.

Ivan had finished his schooling a few years before, but hadn't yet been able to seek employment outside of his mother's basement, the darkness concealing his failed occupations in a cave no one saw. It was here where Ivan pretended he was one in one of those dungeons from his favorite game, trying to escape the evil dragons all around him in the form of his family. His sword, naturally, was the mighty D&D chat room, where he was spending this fateful Saturday night.

"Hey guys," he typed under the cleverly disguised screen name of Ivan_the_Terrible. He was a regular in this room, recognizing almost everyone's name who popped up, giving him the traditional greeting oh so common among D&D fans. Ivan smiled looking at his screen, knowing this would already be a good night.

He talked for awhile, exchanging battle tips and exit strategies, trying to console his one friend who had just lost a game and was convinced his life was over. Ivan wasn't that emotionally involved with the past time, but he still felt for the poor boy. The two exchanged e-hug after e-hug in the vast chat room, while other people continued to talk and mingle.

Suddenly though, Ivan was distracted by another pop up box, its orange light flashing brightly in his eyes, mechanical ding in his ear. He squinted as he opened the box, not used to anything that was so white set across the black backdrop. Ivan liked to turn all the lights off, secluding himself even more and probably further blinding him later in life inside his cave of a basement. He considered this new box to be an attack.

Regardless, Ivan was a true D&D fan, not disregarding anyone who wanted to talk. He was a minor celebrity in the D&D circa, at least on this site, though there were thousands of them out there. People knew his name, his skill and he was relatively nice. It garnered enough of a status that apparently this person had seen.

Ivan squinted as he read the bright red font, not recognizing the screen name as one he had seen before – stop-herotime.

"Hey. You seem to know what you're doing," the new person asked, stroking Ivan's ego through the keys. "Mind if you help me?"

Of course, with a huge grin on his cherub face and puffy cheeks, Ivan graciously accepted. "What seems to be the issue?"

After a few more moments of brief chatter, figuring out a level and many, many exclamations points in horrid red coloring, Ivan was convinced he had helped this new guy out. He glanced over at the public chat, sighing to himself at how lost he was. Another ten people had already entered the room, the conversation log going by so quick, Ivan could blink and miss something very vital.

"Why did you need a private chat for this?" Ivan typed, hoping that his minor question did not come off harsh through the other computer screen. It was really hard to display the thin line between sincerity and sarcasm online, no matter how many exclamation points you used or how close you were. Ivan had entered the Wisconsin state chat room to talk with people in his area, but Wisconsin was a pretty big state. This guy could be hours or minutes away from him, or he could be lying and not even in the state at all.

It took awhile for the other boy (Ivan only assumed it was a boy, there weren't many girls in this fandom, and if there was Ivan might not have been gay) to answer, the little bar displaying that he was typing, then saying nothing, then typing again until the message was finally sent.

"I just wanted to talk to you," the stranger answered. Waited. Typed, then didn't. "Alone."

Ivan felt his throat go dry and he reached over to the side of his desk to find his water. He shook the can, but there was nothing. His thirst would have to wait.

He didn't know why he got so excited over Internet flirting. Perhaps it was because it was the only kind he was ever used to. He knew nothing would probably come of it – this was the D&D chat room after all. For all Ivan knew this could be some forty-year old fat man sitting at the computer, playing with his joystick. The image made Ivan cringe already, but he swept it aside, focusing on his task at hand. He could pretend and dream that this guy was maybe halfway decent looking. It could even be someone just as pathetic and lonely as he was. Ivan laughed, knowing that it was almost impossible.

"What did you have in mind, alone?" he replied with, knowing that he sounded suave while his heart was leaping out of his chest, his dick shamlessly already getting hard. It was obvious what this would ultimately lead to.

He had participated in cyber only once before, and fuck, it was the best thing he had ever done. He tried to get the guy to come back and do it again, but apparently it was just a 'one time thing' because his real boyfriend's computer was on the fritz. Ivan relished the memory of that one night, maybe a month ago, both hands aching from rubbing or typing at an awkward angle as he waited for this new person to reply. Maybe he could add yet another real life night to his masturbation index of thoughts he drew upon every day, sometimes not even waiting until it was dark outside.

That was the beauty Ivan loved about living in the basement – it was a lot harder for people to catch him jacking off. When he was a teenager and had been on the second floor with everyone else, he had been so paranoid about his mother coming in at any moment. She had that annoying habit of not knocking that every single mother seemed to posses. She had even caught him in the middle of the act before, his head cupped around his swelling cock under his Batman blankets, face flushed and panting hard, but she had no clue what her sixteen-year-old son had been doing. She thought he was sick at first, leaving the room long enough so Ivan could get his hands out of his pants before she came back, thermometer in tow in her own. When he had not a fever (just two aching blue balls) she merely scrunched up her nose and left, the real purpose for the room invasion never mentioned.

Ivan shook his head, willing away the ten year old memory in his mind. His eyes wandered to his bed, where he still had those Batman sheets, smiling wide. They had seen many more nights of clenched fists and muffled moans, and they were still accumulating. Ivan shifted his weight in his computer chair, rubbing his hardening cock through the fabric of his sweatpants, eyes closed and mouth open.

"Just talk," Stop-herotime answered, causing Ivan's heart to fall from his throat when he finally noticed the orange flashing light again.

Fuck, he thought. He had misread this guy already. Thank God it was the Internet, and blush didn't show through; neither did the nearly rock hard boner Ivan could easily conceal within his mother's basement.

Both members of the conversation waited for the longest time, sending barely there messages followed by a lot of ellipses, proving that it was hard to 'just talk' in a private window. Finally, the other guy gave in.

"Fuck it," he typed with such ferocity Ivan could have sworn he heard the keys being slammed from over the 'net. "Are you gay? How old are you? And where do you live?" The guy fired questions at him one after the other, hitting enter each time. It was a good thing that Ivan had the window open, maximized and full attention to it or else he would have been deafened by the ear splitting ring each time.

Ivan sighed as he looked, wondering if he should answer any of those inquires. The blood may have been rushing to his cock, but Ivan still maintained some reasoning inside his head.

"Why should I tell you anything?" Ivan typed his thoughts, the task so much easier when he never had to move his lips. He only needed to purse them as he waited for a reply. Without skipping a typing beat, the mysterious man replied.

"Because this could be your lucky night."

There was a pause on both ends, Ivan's cock already twitching madly and waiting for something else to happen. He didn't know how to respond; he could only feel his body's urges.

"I'm horny and I want someone, anyone, now," the stranger continued to type, red font no longer hard on the eyes. Before Ivan could respond, the guy on the other end seemed to scramble to type his next message, it coming out in choppy sentences and typos, which Ivan fixed in his head as he read along. "And you seem like a nice enough guy. You actually helped me with my question, so I think I can trust you. Can you trust me?"

Ivan bit his lips, shifting his weight uncontrollably. He thought he was lucky when he was going to get cyber sex. This guy was offering him real sex. Real sex with a real person – pulse and everything. Katyusha would have been proud of him, even if it was a guy. Katyusha didn't love his brother's affinity for cock, but she never bashed it. His mother avoided the whole thing completely, ignoring her son's unhealthy obsession with Captain America and Iron Man and those magazines she had found under his bed, not too long after that masturbation incident.

Still… Ivan was conflicted. He had not spent this many years on the 'net and not realized that there were some really creepy people out there, especially in D&D. So far though, this guy looked pretty fine. His red font was annoying, and so was his heinous use of exclamation points and emoticons, but that could be ignored. If he came to Ivan's door with an axe and a fetish for farm animals however, that could not be discounted.

"I don't know," Ivan finally typed, not even bothering to use Internet language. "I really don't know what to say." He sighed, sitting with his head in his palm, waiting.

"You don't have to say anything," the words appeared on the screen next, making Ivan perk up. "I like to be loud."

And then, Ivan could not type his information fast enough.

Ivan gave the stranger his age, and rough location in Wisconsin. He knew that this guy could be miles away from him, but he kept his fingers crossed (and his cock hard) waiting for the answer to appear. And fuck, it was his lucky night. The guy gave Ivan his address first, trying to prove to Ivan that he was not just sucking the information out of him to later rob his house and murder his family. Ivan was grateful that the guy was being so cooperative because he had a feeling that he would have given out his address anyway. All the blood had rushed to his cock now, and his brain was nonexistent. It would be really hard to explain to his mother why their TV was missing and they had been robbed when she got home later. Ivan kept praying he didn't have to.

To his utmost luck – something that had been a figment of his wild imagination until that point in time – the guy lived a few blocks down. He insisted that they couldn't meet at his house though – his brother was there with his so-called stoner boyfriend, and they were 'occupying' the entire space, which was part of the reason the stranger was so horny.

"It's really hard hearing two people fuck when you got nothing but your hand," the guy explained, making Ivan blush and thank God again that there was still a computer screen blocking them. But there wouldn't be for much longer.

Ivan typed in his address and the guy signed off before they could exchange proper goodbyes, let alone proper names. Ivan signed out of the D&D chat, leaving the Internet on and prepared to wait for stop-herotime.

And then it hit him. He was going to be having sex, and some strange guy was coming to his house. Ivan's heart started to pound wildly inside his chest, his hand gripping his shirt fabric in an inane attempt to calm down.

What if this guy was a freak? Murderer? Pedophile? Really old? Hell, what if he was just ugly? Thousands of questions began to run through Ivan's mind, one after the other, all crashing together and making a jumbled pile of words that he could only describe as a giant keyboard smash.

He tried to calm down, convincing himself that the address the guy gave was real, and he didn't remember seeing any news stories about mass murders around that area, nor had he seen any. Then again, Ivan didn't see much of anything. He never really left the house other than to go to the videogame store, and occasionally the supermarket when his mother dragged him. He had stopped going on those errands however, when the last time he went to Price Chopper he had knocked over two displays and his mother called him over the loud speaker because she had 'lost' him. There is no such thing as a twenty-six year old being 'lost' from their parent. The whole ordeal had been embarrassing, to say the least.

Ivan kept mentally talking to himself even though most of what he came up with sounded like Klingon. He ran his hands through his light blond locks, cringing a bit as he realized it had been a few days since he had last washed his hair. He looked down at himself, smelling his shirt and couldn't remember the last time he had taken a shower. His sweatpants contained a few stains from his distracted eating at the computer, nacho cheese marks lining his lap. He bit his bottom lip in a swear, realizing that if he was going to play host to this real life cyber adventure, he really needed to change his clothing.

He knew he didn't have time for a shower so he just ran the length of his deodorant over the rest of his body, praying it would be enough. It was true that the other guy could be just as slovenly as he was, but Ivan at least wanted to be the better man in all of this. He searched through his clothing drawers, debating whether to wear his Star Trek convention shirt or his Frankenstein one, finally deciding on the man-made creature. If all things went as planned, he wouldn't be needing clothing long.

Another breath caught in Ivan's throat. He was going to have to be naked when they had sex tonight. If they had sex tonight. He wasn't entirely sure if he could do it. He didn't really want to feel the pain if he took it, and he had no clue what he was going to be doing if he gave it.

Really, was a cock supposed to fit up his ass? Up anyone's ass? The hole was kinda small…sure it could be stretched, he supposed, but it still didn't seem right. And not even right in the moral sense – Ivan had learned to ignore those biblical speeches degrading homosexuals. And he was pretty sure Wisconsin wasn't one of those states that had a sodomy law. He was used to any kind of negative banter regardless, and he shut it out like most things in the real world. But pain was something that appeared in both make-believe, sci-fi, and the real world and therefore, Ivan could not ignore it. Wouldn't anal sex kind of…hurt? Ivan clenched just thinking about it. He didn't have too long to think about it, before he heard the doorbell ring. He looked up the basement steps, his heart pounding with each stop he successively took up.

The first floor of Ivan's house was very different from the basement. It was clad with white, rather than black and had many lights, in contrast to the glow of a computer monitor. His mother was big on Martha Stuart and all of those home decorating shows, his front hallway looking like it was sucked right from the pages of Better Homes and Gardens. The shoes were lined up nicely, Ivan's Velcro sneakers placed at the front. He crushed his eyes closed, realizing his embarrassment behind the footwear. He could see a figure standing outside, but couldn't see exact features through the frosted glass windows surrounding the white door. He kicked his shoes into the hall closet, looking through the peep-hole as the person rang the doorbell once again. The chimes sounded loudly, like the bells and whistles going off in Ivan's head.

'This is really a guy!' was the first thought going through the twenty-something's mind. The second and probably most important was that he was hot. Really hot. Ivan suddenly felt inferior, though he couldn't see too much of the mystery man through the small looking glass and the dim amber light on the porch. The boy was wearing jeans that were tight on the hip but loose on the legs, an equally tight white T-shirt with a zip up jacket hanging loosely at his sides. His hair was amber blond and slightly matted, looking as if he had just gotten out of the shower a few moments earlier, his hair wind-dried as he ran down. His face was angular, eyes looking to be blue and almond shaped. His build was more athletic than Ivan's and he was a little shorter. Although, it was not that difficult to be shorter than Ivan. He had quite the chin, like a hero out of a Marvel comic would sport, and that was the only fault he could see with this young man on his porch, waiting for him to open the door.

Ivan cursed himself for wasting his time worrying, feeling as if he should have been more prepared. There was really nothing more that he could have prepared for however – he couldn't magically lose the slight bulge of a belly he had, nor the slight stain to his teeth. He was going to have to swallow his pride and fear, and just open the damn door.

"Hello?" the man on the other side asked when Ivan had still done nothing. His voice was higher than what Ivan had expected, but it still clung to masculine borders. It was more expressive – like the red font the man had used when typing.

"Yeah, uh, sorry," Ivan stuttered, already losing his suave edge (as if he had any to begin with).

He clung to the brass doorknob as he pulled it open, the amber light from outside filling the room. The boy leaned back cautiously, just as scared of Ivan as Ivan was of him. He pursed his lips and nodded, but said nothing else. He looked Ivan up and down, sizing up what he couldn't see on the Internet. Ivan crushed his eyes closed and tried to turn to the side, angling his body away, but it didn't work.

"Can I come in?" the guy finally asked, shifting his weight from side to side with his hands in his pockets.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Ivan said, still trying to hide. He moved away more, which the other man took as his invitation.

He stepped inside past Ivan, feeling their shoulders brush up against one another. The young man was much bolder than Ivan would have ever been in someone else's house, walking right inside the front hall, looking around at the perfect light fixtures and side molding.

"Nice place you have," the guy said, back to Ivan, face turned to the side. He locked eyes with a Russian stacking doll on the side table. The guy's eyebrows raised as an intense smirk formed. "Especially these."

"Uh," Ivan struggled, realizing just how gay he looked. This stranger must have thought he was an interior designer or something, doing D&D on the side. Complete epitome of faggot.

"Those are my mother's," Ivan blurted out, trying to save his dignity, but only messing it up in the process.

"You still live with your mom?" the guy asked, cocking an eyebrow in complete surprise. Ivan felt his tongue become a dead weight in his mouth.

Fuck, this guy probably thinks I'm a loser now, Ivan thought bitterly. But really, this guy should have known he lived with his mother. There was no way he could afford a house, especially if he spent his Saturday nights playing D&D.

"Yeah…" Ivan responded weakly, his strong argument getting lost in transition.

"Cool," the guy nodded, moving his attention away from the dolls and turning around to face Ivan.

They were still about a foot away from each other in the hallway, and Ivan desperately tried to make more room between them, sucking his back up against the white door. He pressed his spine in, feeling the tingles of surprise, anxiety, excitement and arousal beckon within him. He had started losing part of his erection from beforehand, but the thought of sex still persisted in his mind just as much as his pants.

"So…" the guy started, taking in the room and Ivan. He furrowed his brow to Ivan's stiffened body, and chuckled to himself. "Don't worry. I'm not a mass murderer. I'm just horny."

The guy laughed at his own joke, waiting for Ivan to jump in with him. When the other man just merely nodded his head, his blond locks falling in front of his eyes, the stranger just sighed.

"I've never done this before," the shorter man confessed, staring at his shoes he had slipped off when he first got there. He ran a hand through his hair and for once, looked a little nervous. Ivan could feel his heart starting to beat again.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes widening with the thought. Maybe he was not such a loser after all. This guy was saying he was a virgin too. Ivan could barely contain himself, spilling his next words. "Me too. I've never known anyone to do this with. I mean, in college there was this one time…" Ivan didn't get too long far in his tangent before the stranger cuts him off.

"I mean, meet anyone on the Internet in person," he clarified slowly. He raised his eyebrows a little, tilting his head to the side as he looked at Ivan, who felt the familiar feeling of blood rushing to his cheeks, turning him scarlet.

"Oh," he uttered lowly, realizing his mistake, which he tried desperately to cover up. "Me either."

The stranger chuckled a bit, not bothering to argue or refute the statement. He was too anxious, and really just wanted to get this over with. He was somewhat relieved to have this guy as the person he met up with, even if he was a little skittish. The stranger thought that if he were to make any sudden movements, Ivan would probably have a heart attack and collapse, and though that would make it easier to get off, the stranger liked the challenge before him. He looked at it as another round of his favorite game.

"Good," he remarked slowly, making his voice rasp.

Ivan's eyes widened, just at the sexy tone. He had not heard anyone talk like that before who wasn't in a porn movie. But more importantly, the guy was talking to him when he used that tone. Him – Ivan the twenty-six-year-old (virgin) D&D fan – of all fucking people was being come on to by another person. Ivan thought he had died and gone to heaven.

The man started to approach, bridging the distance between their two bodies bit by agonizing bit, going slow for affect and because he was still new at this. Ivan knew that the other man was going to try and kiss him, and as much as he wanted it, he was still scared.

"What's your name?" Ivan blurted out, the man's face so close he could feel his breath. They were literally cornered in the corner, and it took the thick pressure pushing on Ivan's brain to finally make him realize he did not know the identity of the man in front, almost on, him. The guy took a breath in, somewhat defeated in his kissing efforts.

"Stop-herotime," the guy answered, using his screen name. He looked down at Ivan's lips, biting on his own. "That's all you need to know." He was about to kiss the other man, when Ivan refused to let his lips stay still enough for that to happen.

"No," Ivan said, shaking his head. He pressed on, not realizing he could be so stern. "I want your real name. You know mine."

"I do?" the young male questioned, screwing up his face. He wasn't as close to Ivan as he had been previously, but they could still feel the heat from the other's body.

"You mean Ivan? From your screen name?" The still nameless stranger pondered out loud. Ivan nodded, violet eyes wide and serious. If he was going to lose his virginity that night, he wanted to boast to someone – at least on his blog – about the guy he had banged. No one would believe him if he didn't have a name.

"Really?" the guy questioned again, his voice growing high. "I thought that was some weird name from a sci-fi movie or something. It didn't seem real." He shrugged his shoulders, not aware of his obvious insult.

"Hey," Ivan argued, folding his arms across his chest. "Ivan is my name and I happen to like it."

The stranger looked back at him, cynical towards the appellation and amused at the reaction. He chuckled, more words spilling from his mouth. "Hey, I'll call you whatever you want." He had returned to his sultry tone, and began to lean into Ivan again. "I just thought it was a little weird, that's all."

"It's not weird," Ivan argued weakly, his knees wobbling as he felt's the other man's legs against his own. If he kept talking, it would be harder to kiss. "It's Russian."

He didn't wait for Ivan to let up about the name thing by finally sealing off the space between their lips. They were pushed together lightly at first, Ivan's immobile and open from shock. The stranger took advantage of that opening, sliding his tongue into the warm atmosphere and commencing the French appeal. He placed his arms past Ivan, onto the white wall, sealing the other man in. He gripped the wall tightly, balancing himself as he leaned in and up to kiss the taller man's lips.

Even if Ivan was too scared to admit anything, the stranger knew that he wanted it just as much as he did. And from the sounds of how he talked and how he carried himself, he fucking needed it. But still, Ivan couldn't breathe. Someone was kissing him. And they were using tongue. This hadn't fucking happened since high school, or the early, early days of college when everyone was too drunk to know what they were kissing until after it was over. But no alcohol was in place here; this stranger, whoever the fuck he was, wanted to kiss Ivan. And though he wasn't doing too much of the action back, Ivan enjoyed it just the same. He closed his eyes and let out a faint sigh, feeling the tongue brush up against his own in his mouth. He was almost about to let this mysterious man get away with not telling him his name ever when the kiss was pulled apart, the guy returning to his normal standing position.

"I'm Alfred," he expressed slowly, slight pant already visible in his voice. He looked at Ivan, his azure coloured eyes scanning down, to see if his action was approved. He was still new to this, though it was clearly obvious he had a lot more experience and a lot more courage in everything.

"H-hh-hi-ii," Ivan stumbled over his words, the kiss still present on his lips. He could still taste the other man inside of him, though it hadn't even lasted that long.

He saw Alfred crack a smile at his befuddlement, and look away coyly. Ivan wanted to start the action again; they were still close, knees touching and body heat being exchanged, but he didn't know how to go about that exactly. Ivan didn't know how to do those types of suave moves he saw in films, and he couldn't just go and kiss Alfred, could he? Wouldn't he be shocked and surprised by it?

"I liked that," Ivan said quietly, deciding that this was going to be the way that Alfred kissed him again. Instead, Alfred furrowed his brow with a smirk at the new partner he had acquired, more amused than before at his ineptness. He had a feeling it wouldn't be the first time that night where he would be smirking.

"Good," Alfred assured, getting oh so close to Ivan's lips again. Ivan closed his eyes before contact, pushing his lips forward a bit and waiting for what he felt like he had been missing for most of his teenage and fuck, adult years too.

But nothing happened. Alfred just watched for awhile, finally snaking his hand down to meet with Ivan's, before the man's eyes opened and he faced the embarrassment of misreading signs.

"Come on," Alfred said, tugging on the hand he now had in place with his own. Ivan's eyes opened slowly – the only act surrounding his body that didn't feel as if it were on a racetrack. His eyes darted to watch Alfred's countenance, anticipation for the next move building within him.

"Where's your room?" Alfred inquired, bringing his lips over Ivan's once again, but just hovering. When the other man tried to lean forward and meet with them however, he moved back, tugging on the hand and reminding him of the question. Ivan immediately looked behind him to the basement door, but bit his lip in deliberation if he wanted to show Alfred his room, his cave and more importantly – his Batman bed sheets. So far the guy seemed pretty cool and didn't freak out too much about living with his mom, but the sheets could be the final straw.

Ivan drew his eyes to the stairs, but was not left with any better option. He could go to his sister's room, but how the fuck would he explain that if his sister walked in on them? She was on a date, but could come home at any possible minute. If she did come home, the last place she would want to look was the basement. It was Ivan's safe haven. Everyone knocked before entering. He had to take Alfred there.

He just hoped that Alfred stayed there.

"This way," Ivan explained meekly, pointing his finger until Alfred backed away, letting the other man lead. He went to the basement door and clutched the knob, shrugging his shoulders as he opened the door. Alfred walked forward immediately, in awe by the dark and cave like appearance.

"This looks really cool," he even spouted excitedly, for once, not about the sex they would be having.

"It's nothing, really," Ivan replied fast and choppy, pushing himself in front of the small lead that Alfred had into the dark cavern. "Let me go first. I have to clean up. My shit is everywhere."

Before Alfred could answer, and before Ivan could hear the other man's indifference to the mess, Ivan barreled down the stairs, taking them two at a time, a loud thud echoing loudly all around them. He ran over to his computer, sliding the empty coke cans and water bottles that littered the area like a product placement graveyard into his open desk drawer. He picked up his D&D board and figures carefully, placing them back on the shelf with the other action figures. He was almost done hiding his comic book collection, about to move onto getting rid of those fucking Batman sheets when Alfred appeared behind him, his hands on his waist.

"Don't worry," Alfred said, whispering into Ivan's ears.

Ivan froze. Alfred was so close to him. His hands were squeezing the slight roll of flesh that spilled over Ivan's pants, pressing his hips into Ivan's ass. Though the fabric blocking the two from touching completely was thick, Ivan could feel Alfred's girth growing within his pants. He felt like he couldn't breathe, his own cock twitching and growing right along with it. He nearly dropped the comics, one from slipping out from the stack before one of Alfred's hands removed themselves to clutch the others.

"You don't have to hide these things," Alfred insisted again, his voice sincere as it was so fucking hot. Ivan's ears were turning crimson just from listening. Alfred hadn't even done anything remotely sexual yet.

Alfred took the comic in both his hands, moving away from Ivan a bit so he could flip through the issue. He smiled and grinned, remembering something as he scanned the pages, before he made eye contact with its owner. Ivan swallowed hard, unable to look away in a twisted turn of embarrassment and intrigue.

"You're forgetting that I like these things too," Alfred explained, folding up the comic and shrugging his shoulders. The sultry tone disappeared from his voice, leaving Ivan feeling raw.

There was no need to hide from Alfred because essentially, it would be like hiding from himself. Alfred was a lot more experienced, smooth, confident and just plain attractive than Ivan, but he was still stop-herotime. He was hanging out in that D&D chatroom that night. He had read this issue of Spiderman and maybe he could even speak Klingon.

More importantly, Alfred was not there to judge. He was there for a lay mostly, but there seemed to be more than that from the way the two men looked at each other. Alfred could have gotten a lay anywhere from anyone. Yet, he chose to go into the D&D room and solicit Ivan, someone of minor fandom fame. He had known what he as doing; he wanted someone to fuck, and then, someone to talk to after about why the Hulk was better than Superman. Ivan was beginning to understand things, but was still nervous as fucking hell.

"Okay," Ivan replied slowly, nodding his head.

He straightened his posture, placing the rest of the comics on a nearby shelf, then placing his arms at his sides, unsure of how to proceed. Alfred smiled and nodded, glad his point had been made. He returned to his sultry essence for awhile, tossing the comic down haphazardly, his eyes drawing to the bed. He made a brief comment of 'nice sheets' under his heavy breath before he peeled them back, sitting down on the creaky mattress. He leaned back on the palms of his hands, motioning with his head for Ivan to join him. He laughed a bit as Ivan followed like a puppy, needing an invitation to join someone on his own bed. Ivan sat how Alfred was; face out and legs hung over the side, only he was much, much more rigid and nervous.

"Relax," Alfred whispered, voice like water.

They had remained in their spots for a few more minutes before the braver of the two decided to turn to his new partner, running a hand along his cheek and jaw line, turning his head towards him. Ivan crushed his eyes shut under the first touch of foreign flesh, but let himself be led until he and Alfred's noses were touching, warm air rising in between.

"I'll go slow, okay?" Alfred added to his claim, creating a safety net around the two as he brought their lips together.

Like before, Ivan didn't move too much in the kiss… at first. When he felt Alfred's tongue enter him smoothly again, tracing the outside of his lips before pushing past, Ivan took the opportunity to press his own tongue against the foreigner's, lips curling in as he did. Alfred moaned quietly into his mouth, showing his enthusiasm to the action and the boy's new participation. Their mouths were too wet and sloppy, motions jerky from Ivan's part, but the kiss was happening. Alfred moved his hand from where it rested on Ivan's shoulder to cup it down the man's back, shifting himself closer on the bed. It squeaked loudly, causing Ivan's skin to prickle.

"Sorry," Ivan mumbled, breaking away to apologize for his jumpy actions and furthered bed creaking. Alfred gasped, surprised to not be kissing the other man's lips but the side of his face instead.

"Don't worry," he replied calmly after he recovered, placing his lips in the right position as soon as the words were off his tongue.

He tried to increase the pace kissing Ivan, pecking him quickly in a succession before deepening, but the other man was at a loss of what to do. Alfred realized he was going to have to do a lot of leading with this new project, especially since Ivan's hands, though fidgeting and moving a lot, were still nowhere near Alfred's body. They were twisting and turning together in Ivan's lap, clawing at air or his kneecaps. Alfred sighed into the kiss, slinking his hands down from Ivan's shoulders to grip the man's hands, trying to silence their dancing language.

"Grab my waist," Alfred directed, talking softly and sliding his lips away from Ivan for a second to give directions. He held the man's hands, expecting to feel them breakaway and relocate with the verbal request, but nothing happened yet. Just shaking.

"You sure?" Ivan asked, eyes narrowed, ending the kiss for good.

He didn't want to end it or stop anything, but he wanted – needed - to make sure this was okay. He had never done anything like this – he didn't know how much clarification someone needed for each action. He felt like he needed to ask for everything – if he didn't, he might lose control and totally tackle Alfred. He was getting so turned on it hurt, his pants bursting at their loose seams.

Alfred nodded his head, placing Ivan's hands on his waist for him, and went back to kissing, trying not to make everything into a large discussion. However, that was not going to happen.

"What else do you need me to do?" Ivan asked, breaking away again. Alfred cocked his eyebrow at his new bed mate, liking the direction it was going in.

He pecked Ivan's lips, nuzzling him with the side of his face as he pressed kisses along his jaw line, getting to the lobe of his ear. Ivan quaked under the small puffs of breath in the newly sensitive spot, hearing Alfred's sultry words as he sucked on a lobe, flicking it with his tongue. "Take off your shirt."

And then suddenly, everything didn't seem so attractive.

"My shirt?" Ivan questioned, moving away from Alfred's oh so good touch.

There were more important issues at hand, literally, now. Ivan really didn't want to get naked. Not that soon, anyway. A shirt wasn't even showing anything that risqué, but no one had ever seen Ivan without one before. Even swimming, though it had been years since that had taken place, he always wore T-shirts. He didn't like his body, his chest in particular. He wasn't fat, but nor was he thin. His entire family on his father's side was big boned, strong shoulders and sturdy legs with thick middles, very Russian, but Ivan's lack of mobility when sitting at the computer had always made him feel like he weighed so much more than he did. The fact that he was an overweight child, constantly picked on for that weakness didn't help the matter. Adding to his anxiety was the fact that if his shirt went off, the only logical step next was his pants. And he was definitely not ready for that step.

Alfred's hands had now relocated to Ivan's waist, criss-crossing with the other man's to find a comfortable position. He gripped the flesh he had moments before, massaging it with his fingers slightly.

"Yeah," Alfred rasped, nodding his head. He stroked the skin through fabric a bit, then slid a finger or two under the hem line, causing Ivan to gasp and recede away, taking his hands with him.

"I don't know," he trailed off, a safe few inches separating them.

He brought his knees to his chest in the fetal position, making sure that Alfred couldn't gawk at him even if he was still wearing his shirt. He bit his lips and fidgeted with his hands, mind swarming with insecure and paranoid thoughts. He was convinced Alfred was going to hate him, get right up and leave without even bothering to try.

I wouldn't have been that good of a fuck anyway, Ivan tried to convince himself despondently, even before his apparent-future had been dished out.

Alfred was definitely not about to get up and leave however. Ivan was getting on his nerves a little bit, yeah, he could admit that, but he totally understood where the guy was coming from. Alfred remembered what it was like when he lost his virginity – and that hadn't been to a stranger. Ivan was just nervous, and though it seemed like it would take all fucking night before anything happened – either getting fucked or his dick falling off – Alfred was going to try and stick it out. Try being the key word.

He sighed, dislocating his gaze from Ivan's frantic darts, running his hand through his hair. "What would make this easier? What do you want me to do?"

Ivan stopped rocking for a bit, the other man's words intriguing him. He cast his eyes to take in Alfred's body – all of it. He was still wearing his hoodie jacket, but it was falling off his shoulders carelessly, his white shirt tight to his skin. Ivan cast his eyes down to take in his pants, and noticed the bulge in the front, not quite as prominent as his own just yet. Ivan could tell that Alfred was hard and hard for him nonetheless. There were many, many things that Alfred could do to Ivan that would make the other man happy. He could feel sensations mounting within his body and he just really wanted to get this all over with, to get off and have Alfred make him get off. But it was so much harder to express his thoughts out loud, especially sexual.

When he had participated in cyber that one time, it had been a little awkward. Ivan did not know the right things to say, and often found himself tripping over the words inside his head before they ever got out and to the other person. And that was through a keyboard. He didn't even think he could say these things out loud, especially when most of them consisted of something like 'just fuck me now.'

Alfred noticed Ivan's staring, and drew his attention to his own attire. "You want me to get undressed first?" His voice was no longer sultry, but strained, trying to find a way this would work.

Ivan didn't get a chance to answer or even breathe before Alfred shrugged his jacket off his shoulders onto the bed, and was tugging his white shirt off too. As he tossed the clothing down on the bed, he bit his lip, clearly nervous that he was now exposed, but not ashamed of himself. He had fairly good self esteem and liked his body, just the whole act of being naked was a little trying, especially to a stranger (and one who seemed to love his clothing more than anything right at that very moment in time).

Ivan gasped right away, his eyes wandering around the silky smoothness of Alfred's chest. He had some chest hair but he was not covered in it. There were just a few stray curls in the centre, two hard and flushed red nipples beside it. Alfred didn't have rock hard abs glistening with oil or anything, but muscles were there, just not clearly defined. It was almost bitter sweet to Ivan, how attractive Alfred really was.

He took in a shaky breath as he watched, gradually unfolding his legs and sitting in a normal position. The two exchanged glances, Alfred's eyes staying at Ivan's securely, but the other man's moving around so fast, trying to etch everything into his memory. If Alfred walked out just then, Ivan knew he had enough mental images to get himself off for many nights to come.

Only it wasn't going to stop. It only got faster as Alfred moved one of his hands to his waist, fiddling with the fly on his pants and belt buckle. Ivan's eyes widened in disbelief of what was coming next as he saw the American flag pattern of Alfred's boxers. The other man's gaze was on himself now as he stood up, pushing his pants off his hips and to the floor, stepping out of them and returning to the bed, his boxers still on. He looked back at Ivan, more nervous than before.

"Better?" he asked, sliding his body closer to Ivan's, whose heart was beating a mile a minute.

Ivan just stared at Alfred as he moved closer, so close that his bare thigh was up against Ivan's still clothed one. Ivan could have sworn he could feel Alfred's skin, even through the thick density of the black material. His mouth was open in shock, but he managed to nod to Alfred's request, chin tilting slightly. Alfred smiled, bringing his hand to Ivan's jaw line and connecting them in a kiss.

Ivan moaned and breathed sharply right away, feeling the other man's lips against his sensitive skin. Alfred moved even closer to the other man, sliding a leg around his waist, brushing up against his erection. He began to straddle Ivan on the bed, his hand on the other man's neck to keep them in place and kissing. It wasn't that Ivan was going to stop the action, but he was too focused in on the sensations all around him that he was squirming way too much, and having a hard time keeping his lips connected to Alfred's. Both men were hard and could feel the other's excitement as they made out.

"Can I, now?" Alfred asked, breaking the embrace and whispering into Ivan's ear. His hands were back on the man's waist, fingers dancing under the hem line but not pushing up until consent was given. Alfred rocked on Ivan's erection as he waited, probably influencing the other man's answer.

"Oh, god, yes," Ivan mumbled, more so referring to Alfred's touch under his.

He was suddenly shocked and cold, finding his shirt being pulled off of his head, leaving his bare skin. He gasped, something he had been doing a lot that evening and locked a worried expression back with Alfred.

"You're fine," Alfred informed him, knowing and feeling his insecurities.

He ran his hands along Ivan's pale chest slowly, stopping to rub his thumbs up against his nipples. Not waiting for Ivan to protest with another babble, Alfred descended upon his chest – the one that Ivan had always been so nervous about – and began to kiss the flesh readily, biting and nipping where he saw fit. Ivan groaned, and found himself leaning backwards onto the bed, taking Alfred with him.

They positioned themselves at the head of the mattress, Alfred halfway down Ivan's body, sucking on his flesh. His hands found Ivan's erection through the fabric and began to rub over the girth, earning mumbled obscenities from the other man. Alfred moved his mouth over Ivan's to absorb the words, connecting his pelvis with the erection that he was once rubbing.

At last, Ivan began to get the hang of things – it wasn't too difficult after all. He and Alfred were just rubbing and pressing against each other. They were kissing too, but that was done without as much anxiety, the attention focused off the action and onto Ivan's cock. He felt like he could come then and there, but Alfred had another idea.

His hands began to slink down again, finding their way to Ivan's pants, breaking the kiss as he began to undo them. Ivan's breathing changed, his gasp this time no longer caused from lust. Everything didn't seem as easy anymore.

Alfred looked up and met Ivan's violet eyes, just as he had unzipped the fly. He could feel Ivan's heat up against him, basically telling him what to do, but he couldn't ignore the wide eyes of the man under him. He sighed for what seemed to be the millionth time that night. Alfred was annoyed, horny and was done playing nice with Ivan. He had been trying to be sexy, a hard enough task for the comic book hero obsessed D&D addict, without having someone ask questions every five fucking seconds. Alfred wanted to be nice, he really did, but he was running out of options. He was going to have to break out the lecturing tone. "I know you want this. You know you want this. I know you're a virgin but –"

"How did you know I was a virgin?" Ivan prodded, surprised his cover was blown.

He was never any good at lying. It was funny though, how he could engage in role playing games and be completely consumed with another character and be damn good at it, but the moment he tried to lie about himself, he would be caught. It was so much harder to believe your life, when you yourself didn't want to be in it. His eyes lowered, and he fidgeted with his hands. "Was it really that obvious?"

Alfred resisted the urge to roll his own eyes, biting his lip as he in took a sharp breath. "A little…" he uttered, unable to hide the tenacity in his voice. This guy was nervous, but they were getting further and further. Maybe they didn't have to have sex that night, but one of them (preferably him) needed to get off.

Alfred focused his attention back on Ivan, who still had his head down like a scolded child. He ran his hands over the other man's waist, slipping his fingers under his boxers to remind Ivan just how horny he was to the situation at hand. Ivan bit his lip and stiffened his body under Alfred's touch, but he didn't say anything. Not yet, at least.

"I've never done this before," Ivan blurted out once the first shadow of pubic hair was exposed.

"Yeah, I figured," Alfred conquered a little annoyed. He knew he should have just ripped Ivan's pants off. Maybe he would have been quieter. "That's what being a virgin implies."

"No, I mean…" Ivan stiffened then stopped, wondering if he should continue. He was propped up on his elbows, but relieved one of his arms in order to wipe his brow. The hand then masked his face, eyes peaking out meekly through fingers. "I haven't really done anything sexual…"

"Really?" Alfred butt in before Ivan could clarify any further. There wasn't much else to be said though, Ivan's facial cringe displaying the answer quite clearly. He hadn't done anything. At least, not in a long, long time.

"What about a handjob? Blowjob?" Alfred pressed on. His eyes were wide, and though his hands were still on the other man's waist, his thoughts were no longer there.

How could a twenty-six year old guy not have done anything remotely sexual? This was something that belonged in a science fiction book. Surely it couldn't be true.

"Well, yes and no." Ivan's voice regained some composure, and he went about his explanation as if they were talking about something every day. Not something that happened between sheets, closed doors and in Ivan's case, drunken stupors. "It was in college. I'm not entirely sure what went on. I just woke up with a guy, and I have vague memories… I think most of them were fantasies though."

"Well, then this isn't your first time then." Alfred tried to smile, easing the tension. It didn't work. Ivan started to talk more, and faster at that.

"But I don't count that. I was drunk and don't remember. Nothing probably happened, anyway."

"But you've still had sex, even if you were drunk. It shouldn't be as bad this time."

"But I haven't had sex…" Alfred cut Ivan off before he could say anymore.

"You said you don't remember. You're contradicting yourself."

"I don't remember everything," Ivan tried to clarify, but it was more so for himself than Alfred. He closed his eyes, pinching his temple in between his fingers, trying very hard to extract a memory.

Usually, Ivan's memory was crystal clear. It was why he was so good at D&D and video games. He remembered stuff that normal people wouldn't and was able to call upon it as soon as he needed it. Sex wasn't a game however, and it felt as if his thoughts were coming at him in a language he didn't understand. Binary code maybe. Ivan had always hated numbers. "I just know I didn't have sex."

"How?" Alfred tilted his head with a sigh. Ivan pressed his temples more, finally being relieved with an image from a drunken night. Or at least half of one.

"I was wearing my boxers when I woke up…"

"Oh…" Alfred really couldn't back talk to that one. If you were drunk and you had sex, there was no way in hell you would be coherent enough to put back on your clothing. Especially your underwear. Alfred knew that for a fact. He had lost a good few pairs of really nice boxers that way.

"…but they were on my head." Ivan added slowly, hoping not to make Alfred any more annoyed.

It didn't work.

"You have had sex then, Ivan. If you were naked, you have. Boxers on your head don't count as being on. Just face it." Alfred nearly spat his words at the other man, surprised at his own vehemence. He must have really been horny.

Ivan sighed, annoyed. Alfred was trying to talk his confidence up, but it only made him more flustered and just want to give up. "Who the fuck would want to have sex with me?"

"I do," Alfred pressed, both in his voice and down on Ivan. Both men groaned a bit on contact, snapping their eyes closed in pleasure and still pent up aggravation. The touch was a welcome distraction from previous the heated banter.

"I want to have sex with you, and you don't need to feel nervous. You've done this before, even if you were drunk. You'll probably only be ten times better this go."

Alfred's lips went down to Ivan's middle, hot breath against the man's skin. Ivan remained unaffected however, the sexual tension countered by the nervous energy coursing through him.

"I haven't had sex. I know that much." Ivan persisted and paused, ignoring Alfred's temptation. He thought of the tussled sheets, the vomit in the corner of the room and the mole on the man's bare back he had been in bed with instead, conjuring up memories. "He didn't get it all the way in…"

Alfred crushed his eyes shut. Too many mental images he did not need. First, it was undergarments as a new hat fashion statement. Now, this. He didn't want to hear about Ivan with another guy, he just wanted Ivan to himself.

"I will get all the way in though," he whispered seductively, drawing the attention back to lust, rather than mechanics.

He began to kiss Ivan's middle again, working his way over to the pubic bones, sucking readily. He let his hands slip under Ivan's boxer fabric, sliding the material down over Ivan's still rigid and apprehensive body. Alfred let out a cry of joy in his head when he got the article removed, feeling Ivan's cock under him, wet at the tip. He was about to lift his body up and remove the shorts all the way when he was interrupted yet again by Ivan's constant banter.

"Close your eyes."

"What? Why?" Alfred asked, lifting his head up from his kissing spot. Ivan looked down at him, lips pursed and face contorted with stress-induced wrinkles.

"I don't want you to see me naked," Ivan mumbled, fidgeting with his hands over his bare chest. He had been okay with Alfred seeing his middle, but cocks were another matter. There was so much – too much – importance placed on size that Ivan didn't even want to go there. He didn't want Alfred to see him, and really, he didn't want to see Alfred's. He wanted to touch it and feel it, but by not seeing it he could avoid the constant thoughts in his head, wondering who was bigger and what that all meant. Ivan's thoughts were already paranoid enough without adding penis size into the matter.

"But you want to have sex?" Alfred asked slowly, cocking his head to the side in uncertainty.

"Yeah…"

Ivan looked around the room, feeling somewhat embarrassed that he really did want to participate in this act. He could ignore the constant religious talks, but guilt still managed to seep inside. His whole life everyone had told him that sex was a bad, bad thing – especially gay sex. Cocks weren't really supposed to go up someone's ass, but people did it anyway. They went to Hell for it, apparently, but Ivan had always liked warmer weather. He was sure he could handle Hell if need be. It felt like he was already there however, the amount of tension and anxiety in the room.

Ivan dropped his gaze back down to Alfred, who was looking over his body once again, eyes wandering way lower than Ivan wanted them too.

"Your eyes are open!" he cried out, hurt expression on his face. His shrill scream nearly made Alfred jump out of his skin.

"Sorry," Alfred stuttered, feeling his face flush that he was almost caught. He was curious too at how they both would measure up penis size wise, and now felt shame for doing so. He closed his eyes like the request demanded, taking a deep breath. Then he realized what he was doing.

"Wait, no. I'm not," he stated, taking back his apology. He opened his eyes defiantly, but kept them fixed on Ivan. "If you want to have sex, I'm going to have to see you naked."

"Not necessarily."

"Yes, necessarily." Alfred's eyes widened, staring intently at Ivan, determined to get his point across. "And don't try to talk back saying it's possible. You wouldn't know because you haven't had sex."

Ivan opened his mouth, about to say something, but he merely breathed out. He cast his eyes downwards once again, looking like that scolded child. Alfred furrowed his brow, feeling the conflict in the air. He felt as if there were two people inside of him – Nice Alfred and Horny Alfred – trying to battle it out to get laid. He wasn't sure which one was going to win in the end, but Horny Alfred definitely had a lead. He had a weapon of a hard cock, after all. No one, especially a gay man, could deny its force.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Nice Alfred oozed his voice growing softer. Ivan was still looking away, down at his chest, fingers twisted and turning red from the amount of fidgeting.

"I'm just getting really hard and it's kind of hurting." Maybe if Alfred explained his dilemma to Ivan, then he could realize he wasn't the only one in pain and having a hard time with it all. Sex was a difficult task to embark on, especially with a new person, first time or not.

"Me too," Ivan confessed, voice growing with clarity. He stopped fidgeting with his hands, eyes meeting with Alfred's. Alfred was about to give him a perturbed look and say something, when Ivan realized the error in Alfred's way. "Your eyes are open again."

Alfred heaved an aggravated sighed, looking down to collect his thoughts. He was not going to close his eyes for this. No fucking way. Defying the rule, he brought his vision upwards, but only staring at Ivan's face. Nothing more, but definitely nothing less. For now, anyway.

"Look, if we're both horny and want sex, why can't we just see each other?" he conjectured, raising his eyebrows to heighten the question. Ivan stared back, but didn't say anything, so Alfred continued. "We're equals, remember? I like the same things you do. And that includes you."

Alfred leaned down and was about to give Ivan another kiss to his middle, some of his sensual essence returning, when the man's small voice invaded his ear.

"I don't like myself."

"Just shut up and take the compliment!" Alfred snapped, realizing how harsh his words were after the statement. He sighed again, seeing Ivan's hurt expression.

God, he thought to himself. He hoped this guy handled physical pain better than he did emotional. Having sex hurts, and if he broke down this easily, they would probably both be in tears by the end of the night. What a fun way to spend a Saturday. He should have just jacked off at home to some pictures of Steve Rogers.

"Would it help if you saw me naked first?" Alfred asked, another idea coming to his head. He couldn't help but smile as he saw Ivan's eyes widen, for once, not with fear. Having someone else get naked first would always help.

Alfred rolled his eyes as he got off of Ivan, who immediately grabbed a blanket to cover what he did have exposed of himself up. Alfred didn't have too long to look, and basically only saw shades of pubic hair, flushed red and hard skin. Nothing too fancy, and definitely not enough detail to get excited about.

He moved off the bed again, standing next to where his discarded pants lay. Keeping as much eye contact as he could with Ivan, he slipped his boxers off of his hips, stepping out of them and casting them aside right next to his jeans. Ivan's eyes widened more, so much so that Alfred wasn't even sure if he could see the lid anymore. He stood in front of the bed for awhile, hand on his neck, waiting awkwardly. He wanted Ivan to have enough time to look him over, showing him that there was nothing, essentially, to be afraid of. Being naked was different, yeah, but it wasn't too scary.

Alfred wasn't an exhibitionist by any means, but he knew the awkward feeling Ivan was going through. Granted, he had gotten over that years before this man, but whatever. We all age and mature differently, especially if not given a chance to grow. Ivan was stuck in a basement half the time, little or no sunlight (let alone social interaction) let in, allowing him to grow. Alfred understood. You can be understanding and still be faintly annoyed though, right?

"Better?" Alfred asked, after standing as a spectacle for awhile.

"Yeah," Ivan agreed, his voice taking on a slight accent. Alfred smiled, glad to see his approach was working.

He saw no use standing in front of the other man anymore and slipped into the bed, sliding his body right next to Ivan's. He gasped and tried to move away at first, but when he connected with the wall the bed was pressed against, Ivan was forced to stay next to the naked man. What a horrible fate.

Alfred grabbed Ivan's wrist, letting him know that it was okay for him to stay. Ivan pursed his lips together nervously and nodded, but no real words were exchanged between the two. Alfred propped himself up on his one elbow, the other hand still connected with Ivan, watching the other man peculiarly. He noticed Ivan's eyes dart and blink rapidly, but for the most part they stayed focused on one particular area: Alfred's cock.

"You can touch it, if you want," the man suggested, finding it hard to hold back his smile.

"What? Uh…" Ivan snapped out of his staring daze, face already beet red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I was being rude."

Alfred chuckled again. At least if Ivan was being a nervous twitch, he was giving Alfred a slight ego boost, ogling him the way he was. There was some good in bad.

"No, you weren't being rude at all. I want you to." Alfred insisted, nodding his head smugly. Ivan looked back at his new partner, face still red, heart pumping madly inside his ribcage. Was Alfred really serious? He asked himself, over and over again. There was really only one way to find out.

He put his hand on Alfred's cock.

"Ohh," Alfred sounded immediately, finally getting the touch he craved so much. It had just been Ivan's palm that had hit him, but fuck, nothing else had felt that good in a long time. There was too much sexual frustration being pent up between the two. Ivan needed to touch him more to get it out.

However, with the first sounds of Alfred's moan, Ivan had receded away.

"Don't stop," Alfred insisted again. His eyes were closed and his head was back, wanting to fully appreciate anything that happened to him. His voice was thick and lust-filled enough to make Ivan continue.

He leaned forward, making sure the blanket still covered himself, and took Alfred in his fist. He began to slide up and down slowly, mimicking the actions he did to himself nearly every night (and afternoon sometimes). He watched Alfred's face in awe as he worked, noticing the small details about his countenance change. He loved the way Alfred's jaw tipped open, and his rosy lips curled when he hit a good spot, and the way his Adam's apple seem to throb in his throat. Hell, Ivan was just so amazed that he was making Alfred feel good and do all those facial actions. For the first time since they had started, Ivan could feel a little tiny bit of his anxiety ware away. If he could jerk Alfred off right, then maybe sex wouldn't be too bad. It was big dreaming, but Ivan could try.

"Can I see you now?" Alfred's voice broke between the two men.

Alfred was fully enjoying everything Ivan did to him – in fact, he was quite good. Ivan's many years of solo masturbation paid off when he literally thrust into a different situation. In fact, Ivan had even leaned closer to Alfred even more, pecking his flesh once in awhile when he thought the other man wasn't looking. Alfred still noticed, and was pleased to bring it to the next step.

But when Ivan almost threw Alfred's cock out of his hands, it was clear that they were back to square one all over again. It was amazing how something could be build up so strong, only to be broken with one small phrase.

"No," was all Ivan said, taking his hand back, fidgeting commencing once again.

Alfred sighed. He could still feel the motions of Ivan's hand on his cock, and he placed his own there, just to steady himself. He cast a death glare at the man beside him, not pleased at all with his actions.

"Well I'm going to see you anyway." Alfred's voice was hard and uncaring, but sometimes it was better to be harsh. Nice Alfred may as well have gone and died once his cock was touched. It was only Horny Alfred now, playing a mean rendition of Good Cop / Bad Cop.

Alfred reached over without a second thought, or even a whimper from Ivan and stole the blanket the man had covering his shame, which may as well have been his pride. This time, it was Alfred's turn to gasp, now fully aware of Ivan's girth. Though the other man had been losing his erection a bit from his nervous anxiety, the size of his cock was still apparent, and it shocked Alfred to his very core.

"Wow."

"What?" Ivan asked immediately. He could feel the cold chill in the basement, especially around his tip where some pre-come had gathered. Alfred held the blanket tightly in his hands, so there was no way of Ivan covering himself back up. He didn't know if he wanted to, however. Though Ivan was still insanely nervous, and even a little twitchy, he was glad Alfred had finally done something forceful. It was the only way sex was going to happen. But when all Alfred did was stare intently at Ivan's half hard (and falling fast) erection, the boy started to blink rapidly, fits balling and heart beating into his mouth.

"Look, I know I'm not the best. I know I'm a little chubby and I'm probably not the most attractive person. Just, stop looking at me like that. It's just a cock. Yours is much better. Look…" Ivan had begun to ramble, and this was never a good sign. Alfred was still in awe however, even as Ivan tried to shoo his attention away, motioning to the other man's hardened member. When nothing was working, and Ivan was only succeeding in getting closer and closer to a panic attack, he let out a defeated sigh. "You can just leave if you want."

Just in the nick of time, Alfred awoke himself from his daze. Ivan's head was down, mumbling incoherently, which Alfred put a stop to by sliding his index finding over the man's mouth, in a silencing motion.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into Ivan's ear. He scooted his body, snaking his hands around the other man's waist, ready to get this show on the road.

"Why were you staring then?" Ivan pestered, moving away from Alfred and bumping into the wall. Again.

"You were bigger than I expected." Alfred's voice took on an alluring quality, his tongue pressed up against Ivan's lobe, enticing him with the sheer validity in his words. Ivan was big. Bigger than Alfred, and for once, Alfred wasn't jealous. He was fucking thrilled.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Alfred oozed even more, sliding his hand around Ivan's waist, this time with little effort. The other man was still a bit perplexed about the whole situation, but at least he knew he kind of had the upper hand.

"Really?" Ivan pressed again. "What did you expect."

"Well," Alfred started, taking a breath. He moved away from Ivan's ear, simply laying next to him, attempting to have a semi-normal conversation. "You don't expect that many guys on the D&D chatroom have big cocks, now do you? You figure they're pretty small because they spend most of their life hiding behind a computer. Why would you hide if you had a big dick?" Alfred shrugged his shoulders, like it was the easiest answer in the world.

It made sense in Ivan's mind, except that apparently he was one of those rare cases that had a big cock, and was still hiding. He was just socially retarded to begin with.

"Wait," Ivan said, sudden thought occurring to him. Alfred had drawn his attention back to the other man's body, but now met with his eyes. "Then why did you come to the D&D room for sex? Were you looking for a small cock?"

Alfred laughed at Ivan's joke…then he realized the other man was being serious. Ivan's eyes were creased, giving him the appearance of early crows' feet.

Alfred sighed, running his hands through his hair. "No, not really."

"What were you looking for then?"

"A lot of things…" Alfred trailed off, smiling as he recollected his memories.

Though Ivan had not recognized Alfred's user name, this had not been the first time the man had come to the chat room. He had been the user that, oh so long ago, and under a different name, that had participated in cyber with Ivan. He had always sort of had an Internet crush on the semi-famous Ivan in the chat room, but had been too afraid to really talk to him all that long. The one night they had had cyber, he had felt way too guilty after, never wanting to do it again…unless they could do it right. There was something so cold and inhuman about cyber sex, especially if you didn't know what the person looked like in real life. Now Alfred did know, but he couldn't let his real reasons for going into the D&D room slip through. It was one thing to be an online stalker. In real life, it was a felony.

"Battle strategies for one. Sex for the other."

"But why me?" Ivan pressed further, still amazed at how someone as attractive and nice (as nice as someone could be in this situation) as Alfred could be attracted to him.

The shorter man scoffed a bit, hearing another refusal to Ivan's appeal. Then, the answer coming to his mind, Alfred turned his head, giving Ivan a quick smile before he answered carelessly, "Why not?"

This time, it was Ivan to crash his lips against Alfred's, his comment working in seducing the man even further. It wasn't too much work – seducing Ivan – the man had wanted sex for ages. It was just hard when any time Alfred touched him, sliding his hand over Ivan's cock and pumping it slowly, he would twitch and writhe, not always in a good way. Alfred persisted, his kisses trailing down Ivan's neck and around his ears, blowing in them carelessly. He straddled Ivan at one point, their hips colliding together in much needed friction for both men. Ivan, though he didn't make many first moves, was very willing to comply with each one Alfred was doing.

Well, almost each one.

As Alfred began to trail his hand from Ivan's cock to his balls, and then finally pushing past layers of skin to reach his hole, everything was put on hold. Again.

"What are you doing?" Ivan shoved himself away from the embrace, his lips swollen as he bit on them further, nervousness swelling within him.

"Well, I'm about to finger you." Alfred was going to be blunt now, to say the least.

"Why do you need to do that? Won't your fingers smell bad?"

Alfred tried to hold back his laughter, he really did. He couldn't laugh at a time like this. Later on he could, at night when he was masturbating to the memories, but he needed to make those memories first. "I'm not thinking about that part. I'm just trying to prepare you."

"Haven't you done enough preparation?"

Alfred could not agree with this statement more. It felt like every single step of the way he has been preparing this man for the act that had still not even started yet. He had no idea how long he had been in this cold basement for, but it was too long. His cock had gone through too many shifts of being hard, and then not, and then hard again, that he thought it was going to fall off soon. Regardless, he shut his mouth about his dick troubles, and focused on Ivan.

"Yeah, but there is a lot needed for sex. Especially gay sex"

"Oh god," Ivan proclaimed, running his hands through his hair. "I knew I shouldn't have been gay."

"Don't say that," Alfred insisted. He leaned into Ivan once again, pressing his lips to the other man. He didn't move his lips very far when the kiss was over, looking into Ivan's worried eyes with his own lust filled ones. "Being gay is quite fun, especially the sex."

"I wouldn't know," Ivan countered, finding it hard to look away from Alfred.

"Then let me show you."

Alfred descended upon Ivan's body once again, kissing his face, and then subsequently his neck when nothing happened in the other focal point. He picked up his speed, rocking his hips into the Ivan's as he worked. Ivan writhed and squirmed, but Alfred couldn't really tell if it was out of nervousness or pleasure. He didn't want to think about that just then, and started to work his hand back past Ivan's cock, where it had been only moments before.

"It's worth all the preparation, I assure you," Alfred cooed, sliding his index finger forward. He only got the tip in, before Ivan receded away with whimpers. It hadn't hurt, it was just fucking embarrassing. Ivan had gone to physicals before, and it had been so fucking weird just having the doctor be near that area.

"You don't need to do that. You can just go in." Ivan waved his hands in front of his face, hoping that his worries were brushed away too.

"I want to have sex with you," Alfred stated, bringing his hand away once again. He brushed the raven locks away that had fallen over Ivan's face, sighing softly. "Not kill you."

It sure as hell felt like death, Ivan thought in his head, but fought to say. Alfred pressed another kiss on Ivan's lips, who remarkably moved back into, sliding his tongue into Alfred's mouth. Ivan's sudden interest was put on hold yet again when Alfred started to probe at his entrance. He whimpered and tried to knock Alfred's hand away, but said nothing else.

"Look," Alfred started, removing his hand and placing it on Ivan's hip. He was getting into his lecturing stance once again. "It will hurt ten times more if I just go in. Let me do this, okay?"

"It's gonna hurt?"

"Yeah, sex usually does the first time." Alfred rolled his eyes, not caring if Ivan saw or not. "You may bleed too."

"Blood?" Ivan's eyes widened, and Alfred was sure that they were either going to fall out of his head, or dry up. "Oh god."

"Yeah, but that's only for some people. Some people who didn't finger the right amount beforehand." Alfred cocked his head, challenging Ivan on their previous actions.

"Did you bleed?"

Alfred bit his lip, wondering if he should answer. It would only worsen things, but so did lying. He went with the truth. "Yeah…"

"Oh God." Ivan had never been a religious man, but apparently, he was finding God that night. Too bad he already felt forsaken.

"Don't worry, okay? You'll be fine," Alfred insisted, leaning his face down to meet Ivan's once again. He ran his fingers through Ivan's hair, hoping the motion soothed before they kissed.

Why can't we just do this all night? Ivan thought in his head. He was sure that you didn't bleed from just being naked and on top of each other. Wouldn't that be so much easier? Then again, staying a virgin your entire life would be easier…but that was not a fate Ivan even wanted to entertain.

"Do you have anything that will make this easier?" Alfred asked, appearing to read Ivan's mind. He cocked his head and looked around Ivan's room, but didn't find what he was looking for.

"Like vodka?" Ivan suggested, voice hitched. Death, maybe? He added bitterly.

Alfred smiled, but also thought that was a good idea. "No, like lube."

"Oh, shit. I should have remembered that."

"I can forgive you," Alfred assured Ivan, smiling coyly. Alfred leaned down to place another kiss on Ivan's puckered mouth, only to have the other man squirm. Again.

"You shouldn't, really."

"Just get me the damn lube," Alfred uttered, more playful with this retort.

"Okay. Sorry."

"Stop apologizing too!"

"Sorr-" Ivan crushed his eyes shut, putting his hand to his temples. He opened one eye and peaked out, only to see Alfred shaking his head with a smile on his face. He shifted his weight on the bed, allowing the other man to get up. Ivan snapped back into reality, getting up and starting to walk away slowly.

"Does it have to be proper lube?" he asked before he got to the stairs. Without waiting for Alfred to answer, he began to go off on a verbal tangent. "Like that KY Jelly stuff? I only know the name because I saw it on TV, I swear. I don't use it all the time. In fact, I don't have any of that in this house. Or anywhere. I've never used it before. So, yeah, that would mean there is none here…I could go out to the store. Yeah. A store. Drug store, even. There is a Shopper's Drugmart around the corner. Big red sign, open to midnight. It can't be past midnight, can it? No, it's not. It can't be. That would mean we've been doing this for over two hours, and that's just ridiculous. So the store should be open. If it's not… I don't know where we would get lube. Would the convenience store sell it? No, we'd probably give the little old Asian guy who runs it a heart attack if we asked for lube. I think I should go to the drug store. No, even better. I think we should go to the drug store. We as in me and you. You as in Alfred. Me as in Ivan. Yes, it's a real name. We should go. Ivan and Alfred. Us. Together. Not together in that way, just as two perfectly healthy straight males buying some lube. Not as a couple…unless you want to be a couple? No, no. You don't. Let's just get lube. Yeah. Let's go to the store and buy some."

When Ivan was done (really only just beginning) all Alfred could do was stare up at him wide-eyed. He didn't think he had ever heard anyone talk that much, at that speed all in one breath. Ivan was even twitching, Alfred was pretty sure. He thought his new friend had been bad before, but fuck, he must have hit a breaking point or something. Though some of what Ivan said made Alfred smile (like the couples part), most of it just made him want to hug the guy. Sex was a big deal, but man, it didn't have to be.

"Ivan. Sit down. Get back here," Alfred declared, coming to his senses.

Ivan did as he was told, walking back over to the bed and sitting on the edge, head hanging down, still naked. Alfred sat up next to him, putting an arm around the other man's clammy flesh. He noticed that when he was this close, Ivan seemed to be shivering. Alfred felt his heart swell, and he squeezed Ivan's shoulder in encouragement.

"Anything will do for lube, really. Go look in your bathroom for hand lotion or something."

Ivan nodded, some of his hair flying down across his forehead again. Alfred reached over and curled it around the other man's ear, smiling. Ivan's hands stayed in his lap, cupped upwards by his groin. He shuddered visibly under Alfred's touch, and decided to just get up and get it over with. He didn't say anything as he got up, which both men considered to be a good thing. He already seemed to have a very nasty case of verbal diarrhea, and if anymore could be avoided then it was for the best.

Forgetting about clothing, he walked up the wooden stairs, creaking as he went. The bathroom was only a few paces from the door; he shouldn't get caught wandering around naked. If he did, it would be quite an interesting story to tell.

After rummaging around in the bathroom medicine cabinet for the longest time, ignoring the medication his mother took for her menopause, Ivan finally grasped a peach colored bottle inside his hands. He began to descend down the stairs, smile on his face. He felt his heart-rate return to a somewhat normal pace, that is, until he handed Alfred the bottle, only to have Alfred take one look and give it right back.

"What did I do wrong now?" Ivan asked, his voice was weak and barely there, just like his confidence level at that point in time. He clasped the bottle in a loose grip this time, looking back down on his failure.

"Nothing," Alfred assured him, moving forward and taking his hands in his own. Ivan was standing in front of him on the bed, while Alfred was still sitting down. "Just don't use this. Trust me."

"Why not?" He began to stare more intently at the bottle, not seeing anything wrong with what he chose. It even said 'Hand' on it…

"Because it's hand soap, not lotion."

"Is there that much of a difference?"

"Soap can be used as an emergency laxative," Alfred explained, random knowledge coming out from nowhere. He was more experienced than Ivan, but all of a sudden, that experience scared him. There was a slight awkward pause before Alfred broke the ice. "So, yeah. Big difference."

"Oh God. Shit." Ivan felt his face redden, as he tossed the bottle on the night stand.

"Literally," Alfred couldn't help but quip.

"I'm such an idiot." Ivan's breathing was back to its sporadic nature, and he hid his blushing countenance under his large, sweaty hands.

"No, you're just a virgin."

"Aren't they the same?"

Alfred laughed, eyes creasing from his large smile. "No."

"Which one is worse?"

"Neither."

For a much needed distraction, Alfred reached his hands up to Ivan's waist, bringing the other man closer to him and kissing his chest softly. Ivan gave into the embrace, though he still found almost everything he had done completely mortifying.

"Just go look again," Alfred conjectured after placing a quick kiss on the man's abdomen. "Bring back anything but soap. Hand lotion is probably the best."

"Can't you go?" Ivan whined, not wanting to screw up again, or unleash the embrace with Alfred. He was getting kind of used to being naked around someone else, especially if they were doing their best to make everything easy.

"This is your house," Alfred stated, pushing Ivan away a little. He leaned himself back on the bed, propping himself up with his palms.

"This is your lube idea."

"But it's your ass that'll bleed if we don't get any."

Ivan paused, biting his lip. Ivan wasn't the biggest fan of blood. He saw Alfred's point very clearly. Alfred had won, and now Ivan was going to the stairs.

"And Ivan," Alfred called to him, when he was only a few paces away. Ivan turned around reluctantly, thinking the worse. He was greeted with Alfred's sly smile, teeth bared and ready to tease his new partner a little more.

"Hand lotion this time. Lotion."

Ivan shrugged Alfred off, and even managed to smile a bit, in spite of himself before trudging upstairs to the bathroom. This time in the room, he looked under the sink for his objective and finally found what he was looking for. He read the label at least six times before returning, making sure he indeed had what he needed. He cringed at the thought of the hand soap and emergency laxatives. The worse part about everything was that if he screwed this up at all, it would be his mother washing the sheets. Try explaining that to a woman who was almost fifty, and only has mere speculations of her son's sexuality.

Ivan came back down into the basement quietly to find Alfred making himself comfortable in his room. He was sitting under the comical bed sheets, one of the many comic book placed in his lap, reading as he waited. Ivan's heart fluttered, the sight so sweet to him. Alfred was just a kid like he was. Though sometimes they were both trapped in an adult world and body, they just wanted to read comic books. He also felt a twinge of concern – Alfred was an essential stranger and Ivan didn't know if he was a kleptomaniac or not. He had a lot of rare comic books and action figures that he hoped didn't go missing.

"Hey," Alfred greeted, when he took sight of Ivan in the room. His voice was pleasant, probably the most it had been throughout the entire ordeal. Perhaps Ivan's twitchy and nervous demeanor was finally growing on him.

He tossed the comic on the bedside table, just as Ivan appeared by the bed, tossing down the hand lotion.

"I got the right stuff this time," Ivan stated strongly. He watched as Alfred picked up the bottled and inspected it, feeling his anxiety come through once again. "…I think."

Alfred smiled, casting eyes up at Ivan. "Yeah, you did. Now come back over here." He opened the sheet as he talked, extending the invitation.

After shifting the weight on the balls of his feet for a few seconds, Ivan accepted the request into his own bed. He crawled over to Alfred, who was now the one sandwiched against the wall, unsure of how to move next. Alfred made it easy for him, pulling his chin towards him and causing their lips to collide once again.

The two focused on kissing for the most part, Ivan clutching Alfred's face while the other man wrapped a hand around his neck, keeping their lips pressed together and moving. Ivan was brave enough to let his tongue dart into the other man's mouth, tasting him.

He could tell that Alfred smoked, recognizing the stale taste of tobacco that his own mouth used to consume. Alfred seemed so much like a drug to Ivan right then and he pulled him closer, wanting to devour more of him. Alfred let himself be led, but soon took over, tipping their bodies so they were both laying down, Ivan on bottom.

"Are you going to do it yet?" Ivan whined, scrunching his face up and looking at Alfred. The other man had been in the middle of trailing open-mouth wet kisses down Ivan's thick middle, his hand pumping his cock.

"Well, I do like foreplay first," Alfred commented wryly, moving his lips so they were directly over Ivan's. His hair was messed up, the normal blond locks tousled in front of his forehead, some divided off into clumps from where sweat had begun to gather. "But if you want we can cut right to the chase."

"Sorry," Ivan apologized before Alfred could kiss him. His hands were around Alfred's back, and despite that distraction, they still fidgeted. "I'm just nervous."

"You don't say?" Alfred retorted, comical ease to his voice. Ivan gave him a strained look, to which Alfred merely placed another small kiss on his lips, before moving over to grab the lube.

Casting gazes at Ivan every so often, he began to slather the liquid on his finger, and then positioned himself right outside the opening. He pressed on the entrance, but didn't go in, seeing Ivan cringe.

"You okay?"

"No," was all Ivan said, eyes crushed shut.

"Will you be okay?"

"No."

"Do you still want to have sex?"

There was a pause, and a slight hesitation on Ivan's side before he cracked his eyes open and replied with reluctance.

"…Yes."

"That's what I thought," Alfred rebutted, cocking his head to the side, playfully challenging Ivan.

Before the other man could interject with any more complaints, Alfred pressed his lips against him once again, sliding his finger in all the way. He began to slide it in and out more and more, before finally adding another. He tried his hardest to keep his lips on Ivan's, muffling the man's verbal outbursts, but there was a limit. He moved his attention to Ivan's neck, hoping it would have the same distraction technique.

It didn't.

"I like kissing you," Ivan mentioned once his lips were freed.

Alfred looked up at him, attention drawn away from the neck. He cocked his eyebrow, unfamiliar with hearing a positive statement come out of the other man's mouth.

"I do too," Alfred agreed, and though it was awkward, he reached up and placed another kiss on the man's mouth. It was a quick one, but it made Ivan smile nonetheless.

"I didn't at first," Ivan confessed, talking once again. He cringed a bit as Alfred added another finger, making the count go up to three, but it wasn't too bad. At least, he convinced himself of that fact. He went on talking instead. "But that's because I was nervous."

Alfred nodded his head, more focused on working his fingers in Ivan. "You're not nervous now?"

Ivan laughed, even though it was a little cumbersome with the fingers inside of him. "No, but I'm scared."

"I can understand that." There was sympathy in Alfred's voice, making Ivan believe him even more.

Ivan had always believed, at least to a certain extent, everything that was coming out of the Alfred's mouth. He had no real reason to; he was a stranger he had met in a D&D chatroom…when Ivan looked at it that way, this guy was a freak. But he was a freak that was still by his side, hours and many, many unnecessary conversations later, preparing him for one of the biggest moments in his life to date. Hell, this could even be the best night of Ivan's life. It sure as hell gave the time he saw the actor that played Luke Skywalker in a deli across the street when he was thirteen a run for its money.

He watched Alfred as he fingered him, his mouth no longer on his own, but on his chest trailing downwards. His kisses weren't what they used to be, diverted by the action act of fingering, but that was okay to Ivan. He let his thoughts wander.

"It distracts me," he thought out loud.

"What does?"

"Kissing…"

"Distracts from what?" Alfred asked, looking back up at Ivan with a coy smile.

"How scared I am," Ivan started explaining. He had been meeting Alfred's gaze at first, but now had his attention turned away, making his intimate thoughts spill out easier. "It gives me something else to focus on so I don't remember how much this is going to hurt, or how awkward all of this is. How much I'm probably annoying you…" Ivan paused for a second, looking down to judge Alfred's reaction. He was only smiling, but Ivan took that as a bad sign. He started talking again, eyes away and voice rushed. "Oh, god, I sound like a woman. Never mind."

"No, it's okay," Alfred assured him, wry smile intact.

He slid his fingers out carefully, watching Ivan's body and face move with the exit. He had done enough stretching, and it was about time to actually start something. They had both been flaccid before, with the constant talking and reassuring, finding of lube and whatnot, but now they were both at full status.

Alfred positioned himself to be eye-level with Ivan, placing a small kiss on his lips. Ivan tried to get more out of it, wrapping his arms around Alfred's bare back tighter, pulling him closer. Alfred had other plans in mind, and broke the embrace temporarily with a laugh.

"I'll keep kissing you as long as you want, okay? If it'll help…"

Ivan nodded, biting his lip. He knew he was sounding like a chick, but he didn't really give a damn. He was getting what he wanted. "Yeah."

Alfred smiled again, bringing their lips together, but only for a short peck.

"I'm going to put a condom on now, okay?" Alfred informed him in a smooth quiet voice. He gently pressed on Ivan's chest, wanting to be let out of the death grip the other man had on him.

"Condom?" Ivan's brow furrowed, and he let his grip go weak. Alfred moved away from Ivan's body, over to where his pants were flung, getting a condom out of his pocket. "Why do you need that?"

Alfred was about to open his mouth to answer the inquiry, when Ivan's own frantic mind did that for him. "Oh god, we can't get pregnant can we?"

He held up the condom to show Ivan and explain. He sighed, "We can't get pregnant, but we can get STDs. A condom is just for protection."

"Do you have an STD?" Ivan challenged, cocking a bushy brow and growing skeptical.

"No, but I don't know that you haven't." Alfred challenged back. Two could play at this game.

"What? I've never had sex." Ivan scoffed, and then started to laugh. This had to be another one of Alfred's jokes. Ivan couldn't get an STD if he had never had sex. It was impossible… wasn't it? Ivan gazed back over to Alfred, chewing on his lip with anxiety. Alfred merely shook his head, his voice serious and placid.

"That doesn't mean anything."

Unlike Alfred's voice, Ivan's head was not concise. His mind began to race, thinking of all the possible ways he could have gotten an STD. Was it his sister? Did he accidentally use her toothbrush at one point and now he has herpes? Or maybe it was when he went to that mall the one day, and he had to use the bathroom. It wasn't the cleanest place in the world but what if this place had been much, much worse? Oh, god, and he actually used a stall that day. Dear lord, he could be disease ridden and pregnant.

Wait, no, Ivan stopped himself. Alfred had said that was a joke. Good thing too because he wouldn't want to pass on any type of disease to his children, and they didn't deserve having a father die young.

Ivan's mind raced, so fast and through so much incoherence, he eventually crashed.

"Oh god, what if I have AIDS?" he stammered, a look of pure horror on his face.

Alfred took in a deep breath, when it really should have been Ivan.

"I'm sure you don't," he assured Ivan, placing a hand on his shoulder. This was beginning to feel like baby-sitting, especially when all Ivan did was ball up his fist, and proceed to bite on it.

It looks like he's sucking his thumb! Alfred thought wildly, trying to sort out his thoughts. He had been so calm before; he needed to recapture that. He gripped the condom in his hand, remembering the outcome of everything. "Plus, the condom is lubricated so it'll help even more with the pain."

Fuck. Pain. Ivan had forgotten about that for a second. He took his fist out of his mouth, his breath still shaky. He watched as Alfred slid into the bed, the condom in between his teeth. Once next to Ivan again, he held it in between his fingers.

"Do you want to put it on me?" Alfred asked, rousing them both from their staring contest at the bright blue wrapping.

"What? Why?" Ivan furrowed his brow. Wasn't that supposed to be Alfred's job?

"I don't know… distraction?" Alfred suggested, flicking the condom between his fingers. "And besides, I want you to touch me again. It felt good and you haven't done it since we both got naked."

Fuck. Naked. Ivan had forgotten about that part too. He swallowed hard. "Are you sure?"

"Ivan. I just told you to do it. Now just help me put it on, okay?"

Instead of waiting for any kind of response, Alfred took Ivan's still shaking hands and placed the condom in them. He instructed Ivan briefly of what to do, flinging the blanket off and leaving them both exposed and vulnerable. Ivan bit his lip as he slid the latex barrier in between them, and he couldn't help but get even more turned on, hearing the small whimpers and groans of approval that Alfred made, let alone seeing his face in ecstasy.

"Are you ready now?" Alfred asked, moments later, the condom on and Ivan just sitting unknowing of what to do next. Alfred turned his body to the side, being very cautious about the newly added skin to his body. He only had one condom. He knew not to fuck this up before he could fuck.

"Yes," Ivan answered, at last, his voice clear.

"Hey, for once a positive answer out of you," Alfred jested, raising his eyebrows and smiling. He shifted his weight so he was back on top of Ivan, lined up with his entrance, but not pushing in just yet.

"Take advantage of it quick because I don't know how long it will last," Ivan said in a blur, putting his hands around Alfred's neck again.

Alfred smiled down at Ivan, trying to distract him from the situation. Ivan took in a deep breath through his nostrils, feeling Alfred's heat outside his hole. He tried his best to relax his body, commanding for Alfred to kiss him just before he entered. He obeyed, pressing his lips to the other man's with the same force as he pressed inside. Both men opened their mouths to absorb each other's groan as Alfred's head pushed inside.

"You okay?" Alfred gasped, not wanting to go in any further but finding it hard to contain himself. Ivan was tight, and Alfred was already so turned on, he has a feeling that this act may not last near as long as it took to start in the first place. Somehow, with the amount of pleasure he was feeling, it was perfectly fine.

Alfred waited for Ivan to answer, saying another plea of pain or another sympathetic sentence – anything really – but instead he was engulfed by the other man's mouth, pressing feverishly against his own. Ivan wanted to kiss, and just kiss. It distracted him from the pain, the fear and the anxiety…basically everything he felt at that moment in time. Alfred understood and kept his mouth on the other man, sliding his tongue to mingle with his as he pushed himself in more. He could hear and feel Ivan's body adjust to him, and subsequently the pain, but there were no vocal objections. Ivan knew it would hurt; Alfred had told him about a zillion times at that point. But Ivan still wanted to have sex; he had told Alfred that about a bazillion times at that point too. There was really nothing much else for them to do but actually have sex.

And so, they finally did.

Alfred pushed himself all the way inside, bit by bit, going slow to not hurt the man below him too much. Ivan made a few whimpers and cries, but nothing as loud as before. He kept focusing on Alfred's lips over his own, hoping it would dull the pain. It worked, and once Alfred was inside all the way, Ivan's whimpers were none existent. Alfred whispered words into Ivan's mouth, telling him he would start soon, and once he got the final acknowledgement of a nod from the other man, he began to rock his hips forward. He pulled out of Ivan almost all of the way, leaving the tip inside before sliding back in, causing them both to groan gutturally in their throats.

Alfred's movements were jerky at first, not used to the tight environment and trying not to get off too soon. It felt like the more he moved, the more he felt like he was going to explode, and they had not just talked and prepared for nearly three hours to get off in three seconds. No way. Not only did Alfred want himself to have a good time, but he wanted Ivan to have one too, and being a tad premature on the first try was not something to be proud of.

Ivan, for the most part, and to Alfred's surprise, seemed to be doing okay. Alfred opened his eyes every once in awhile to check on his partner, who mostly just seemed to lie there, eyes crushed shut. He had a death grip around Alfred's neck, relatively unresponsive. He didn't seem to be that happy, but he wasn't in pain, so Alfred kept going. Once he found a good rhythm however, Ivan's face relaxed as the pain subsided, the creases on his eyes disappeared and he pushed back into Alfred. He started to shake every so often, but Alfred started to kiss him hard, and after tightening their grip on each other, things were back to normal again.

It took awhile, longer than usual, for Alfred to find a spot inside Ivan, due his partner keeping him pressed against his chest, not allowing for the other man to explore different angles. Once Alfred broke away a bit though, and hit that spot, almost all of the apprehensions Ivan had accumulated for this act were melted away. He felt like he was flying anytime that spot was hit, boneless and weightless feeling resonating through him. And he hadn't even come yet. Alfred kept hitting that spot more and more, as much as he could, before he too felt that boneless feeling, with the mounting of his orgasm.

"So…soon," Alfred uttered when he couldn't take it anymore. His mouth was just over Ivan's ear, breathing heavily, as his hands worked their way around the other man's body, finding his swollen cock in between their two heavy chests.

Despite Alfred's vocal outcry, Ivan remained silent. His only acknowledgment to Alfred's words were his legs locking around his waist, pulling him deeper inside. Alfred groaned as he pumped Ivan's cock harder, finally coming into the other man. His body shuddered violently, his voice raising and hitting a high octave before breaking. He had been so worked up the entire night, finally coming was like a bomb going off inside of him, and he couldn't help where any of the debris would go.

Alfred kept riding out his orgasm in Ivan, thrusting hard and fast before slowing the pace, eventually just stopping and resting with his head in Ivan's sweaty neck. He breathed hard, and though he felt himself slipping out, he latched on tightly, feeling Ivan grip back. Ivan's legs were still digging into his back, his fingernails scratching the air and flesh as he felt Alfred explode inside.

Ivan was close behind with his own orgasm, Alfred's hand pumping him all the way there after he had calmed down a bit and gathered his thoughts. He brushed his thumb along the tip of the other man's cock, finally allowing for Ivan to let out a strangled yelp in his throat – the first of any noise he had made during the whole process. Ivan kissed Alfred once more, biting the other man's lip as he as he plummeted over the edge, and in between their two chests. Now covered and coated with sweat and feeling pain mixed with pleasure from the clumsiness and exhilaration from their action, they breathed and panted hard, exchanging another final kiss before Alfred rolled off of Ivan, landing on the bedspread with a loud oomph.

It took awhile before the thick air of sex settled in the room. Alfred eventually pulled himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of Ivan's bed. Ivan too, began to pull himself up bit by bit, sitting shoulder to shoulder with the man he had just had inside of him. It was slightly harder for Ivan to maintain the same posture as his new friend, his ass still feeling a bit raw from their act. He chose to sit on his tailbone instead, sinking lower into the bed, and using a pillow for partial support.

"You're quiet during sex," Alfred mentioned randomly, after both their breaths had been caught, orgasm still reeling in their body, but no longer paralyzing.

Ivan nodded, but not much of anything else.

"And after sex too…" Alfred remarked, sadness hinting in his voice.

"Is that okay?" Ivan cast his gaze over to Alfred, cocking an eyebrow in uncertainty.

Most of his nervousness was now gone, the initial act being over and done with, but there was still the aftermath. Sex could change everything, and apparently it had finally rendered Ivan quiet. Alfred never thought he would live to see the day, and he had only really known Ivan for a few hours then.

"Yeah, I guess," Alfred uttered, his voice still somber and displaying other meanings. He sighed and pressed his spine more into the back of the bed, feeling its chilled wood against his flushed skin. He looked off to the side, thinking out loud. "But I was really hoping we could discuss something."

"What?" Ivan asked quickly, then cringed, expecting to hear how bad he sucked.

He thought he'd done pretty well, actually, only really freaking out in the beginning because of the pain. It hadn't been too bad, just really uncomfortable and awkward at first, with a few slight stretches and stings of pain. He didn't know if he was bleeding or not, and honestly, he didn't want to check.

Contrasting Ivan's still despondent thoughts, Alfred went to pull out the comic book he had been reading moments earlier. He shot Ivan a look, cocking an eyebrow and flashing a sly grin.

"I wanted to ask you who the best character of X-Men was?"

"Wolverine," Ivan answered without skipping a beat, sitting up at full attention.

Alfred just smiled, turned the page, and listened as Ivan's voice, now no longer a nuisance, filled his ears.


End file.
